Posted in humor, humour

Air conditioning is the cause of divorces

In most homes in Nova Scotia,there is no air conditioning. After all, how many days in the year does it get above freezing?

But they have heaters, maybe forced air, which could be fueled by oil, gas or electricity. Or, maybe the home may be heated by electric baseboard heaters.. And a few unfortunate homes may have only wood fired stoves.

But few indeed would have air conditioning. Anyway hot air rises and cold air sinks, so our floor vents and baseboard heaters would have to work mighty hard to get cold air up to the ceiling. Oh, if you are rich enough, you would have air conditioning, but only for status. No real Nova Scotian would admit to wanting air conditioning for the two days in the year when the temperature rises above “pleasantly bearable”.

But things are different in Palm Springs, California, where we spend our winters to get away from the ceaseless cold and damp. Yes, here the outlet for the air conditioning is in the ceiling for the reasons I said above: cold air sinks.

But My Beloved does not like air conditioning, so we wrestle at night in the bed – no, we are not experimenting 50 Shades of – but what to do with the duvet. I throw it off: she pulls it back. We get down to some nights when even she throws the duvet off, but then we are left with a sheet and a blanket. I throw the blanket off: she pulls it up around her neck. I throw the sheet off: she complains I’ve left her shoulder out in the cold. Those are the nights when My Beloved wants the doors to the patio to be open, leaving just the screen doors closed to stop those marauding insects and creepy crawlies and to let in the desert night air. Which, I admit, is frequently cool.

But for the past February and March, the day temperature has been high twenties and now in the upper thirties – Celsius. Or, in other terms, approaching triple digit, as the meteorologists here say, Fs. And that’s when the desert nights stay much warmer, I would love to have the air con on, but…. Yes, you know, don’t you? If we have the air con on, then the doors must be closed and My Beloved ends up with a stuffed up nose: if we leave the air con off, then I am throwing the remaining sheet off.

If we were not so compatible and so much in love, we would be looking for a divorce lawyer. I would venture to say that the air con manufacturers are in the marriage business selling recycled wedding gowns. Some university should award a huge grant for some professor to write a paper and a study on the marital stress caused by air conditioning in the USA and resulting divorce rate. Isn’t that what many of these university studies are? Professors getting grants to study common sense issues and proving something the communi hominum. or we average Joes, believed all along. We wouldn’t need that study in Nova Scotia for aforementioned reasons that nobody has air conditioning.

Quod erat demonstratum, the divorce rate in Nova Scotia is mightily lower than that in the USA and air con is the reason for the higher divorce rate in the USA..

Author:

My Beloved (wife) since 1955 and I are retired from our own Risk Management consulting business and, with our few funds saved during our business years, we love to experiment with foods and wines, either cooking them ourselves or dining out, and travelling throughout North America or other countries. We are also greatly involved in our Anglican church and choir both here and where we have wintered for near 20 years in Palm Springs, CA, USA.

5 thoughts on “Air conditioning is the cause of divorces

  1. Love this, Mel! And that is exactly why I so adore the European single duvets (smaller than a “twin” size), with each person able to have their own, to leave on or throw off as they please! Doesn’t solve the issue of “window open or closed” though, which is always a bone of contention with my Dear One!

  2. When do you go back to Nova Scotia, lots of snow there to cool you off

  3. I am sure you will be using your duvet when you arrive home, another snow event yesterday and ending before I awoke today. Just a few cm I would say 10-15 plus cm, blown into drifts against the doors, this upon the meter or two still on the ground. I would stay south for as long as possible.

  4. Love it. As much as possible we do try not to use the air conditioning in our own home in Colorado. Fortunately, most of the summer the temps drop here in the mountains/desert plains significantly at night!!! Maybe you should write a paper or do a study on this exact subject! Love to you both

Comments are closed.